You know what’s funny? We always think we need some massive breakthrough to change our lives. A new job. A complete personality makeover. Winning the lottery.
But here’s what I learned the hard way: it’s the tiny, everyday habits that quietly sabotage us. The ones we no longer even notice.
In 2013, my business collapsed. My partner left. I felt like a complete failure. For months, I tortured myself with “what ifs” and watched everyone else succeed while I sat there, stuck.
That rock bottom taught me something valuable. I wasn’t stuck because I lacked talent or luck. I was stuck because of five specific habits I didn’t even realize I had.
1. Living in Yesterday’s Mistakes
I used to replay my business failure like a broken record. Every morning, I’d wake up and immediately think: “I destroyed everything. I let my partner down. I’m such an idiot.”
Here’s the thing about blame—it’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to feel sick. Except in my case, I was poisoning myself.
One day, I realized something simple: beating myself up wasn’t changing anything. It wasn’t bringing my business back. It wasn’t helping me improve. It was just… keeping me paralyzed.
What changed: I started treating mistakes like lessons instead of life sentences. That 2013 failure? It taught me what not to do next time. That’s actually worth something.
2. Scrolling Through Other People’s Highlight Reels
After my business failed, I had way too much free time. I’d travel around, open Facebook, and see everyone else crushing it. New cars. Business awards. Happy team photos.
Meanwhile, I’m sitting in a cheap hotel room, wondering where I went wrong.
Social media is brutal like that. Everyone’s showing their wins, nobody’s showing the 2 a.m. panic attacks or the maxed-out credit cards.
What changed: I deleted Facebook from my phone for six months. Not forever—just long enough to remember that my life isn’t a competition with people I barely know. Your journey is your journey. Comparing it to someone else’s is like comparing a bicycle to a helicopter and feeling bad that you can’t fly.
3. Playing It Safe (Even When Safe Means Stuck)
What scared me most after failing? Failing again.
So for a while, I did nothing. I stayed comfortable. I told myself I was “recovering” and “taking time to think.” Really? I was just afraid.
Then I went to see Mr. Lim, a mentor who asked me one uncomfortable question: “What’s worse—trying and possibly failing, or never trying and definitely staying stuck?”
What changed: In 2014, I started Wardoh Books. Was I terrified? Absolutely. But I did it anyway. Some nights I stayed up until 1 or 2 a.m. fixing printing machines, learning things I had no clue about. It was uncomfortable. It was scary. But at least I was moving forward.
Growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone. It just doesn’t.
4. Keeping Negative People Close
When my business failed, my neighbors laughed at me. Literally laughed. My own business partner got so discouraged that they walked away when I needed support most.
I used to think I had to just accept this. That I should be “strong enough” to ignore negativity.
But negativity isn’t neutral. It’s contagious. Hang around people who constantly complain, criticize, and see problems everywhere, and eventually you start thinking the same way.
What changed: I got selective about who I spent time with. I found Mr. Lim and others who’d been through failures and came out stronger. People who saw possibilities instead of just problems.
You become like the five people you spend the most time with. Choose carefully.
5. Waiting for the “Perfect Time” to Start
Here’s my biggest regret: I wasted months overthinking instead of taking action.
Should I start again? What if I fail? Maybe I should wait until I have more money. More knowledge. More confidence.
The “perfect time” is a myth. It doesn’t exist. There will always be reasons to wait.
What changed: After failing, I didn’t sit around planning the perfect comeback. I attended workshops at the National University of Singapore. I asked Mr. Lim questions. I started small with Wardoh Books and learned as I went.
Was everything perfect? No. Did I make more mistakes? Of course. But Wardoh Books is still running today because I started before I felt ready.
The Bottom Line
Looking back, my 2013 failure was the best thing that could’ve happened to me. Not because failure feels good—it doesn’t. But it forced me to look at these five habits that were quietly keeping me stuck.
You don’t need a dramatic transformation. You just need to stop doing the small things that hold you back:
Stop replaying past mistakes. Stop comparing your chapter 3 to someone else’s chapter 20. Stop staying comfortable when comfortable means stuck. Stop letting negative people drain your energy. Stop waiting for perfect.
Start before you’re ready. Start even when you’re scared. Start small if you need to.
Just start.
Because a year from now, you’ll wish you had started today.
